There seems to be this weird mid period during weight loss for me where I seem to think that I can stop tracking the things that I’m eating and still be OK. And I am. Sort of. I don’t immediately regain all of the weight I lost, but I slowly start creeping back up there in the amount and awfulness of the things I eat.
This past weekend I went to PAX East as media, which means I pretty much run all over the convention hall and get interviews wherever I can. It also means I eat con hall food, which is godawful. Typical fare is pizza, burgers, and other fried things of badness. On the up side, I hit the recommended 10,000 steps daily that Fitbit harps on and then some for all three days of the convention. Go walking!
On the down side, I’m eating completely crappy food that my digestive tract makes sure to inform me is utterly and truly awful at a later date. Seriously. Trust me on this.
The other thing that happens during the convention is that I frequently end up seeing pictures of myself that typically I don’t really like. I see them and feel awful, fat and generally ugly. During the course of being grumpy about this, a friend was laughing at someone else basically saying this to her. That she should take down a picture she’d posted because it was unflattering. Her comment was, “What am I supposed to do? Hide my body? I am what I am.” That hit home for me. My general body shape hasn’t changed, and it never really will. I am what I am, and even another 40 pounds of weight loss won’t change that. I need to learn to accept that. The result was me buying some clothing I probably normally wouldn’t have because it would make me look fat. I am fat. That’s the way it is. So, screw it. I’m buying what I like for once, and screw anybody who doesn’t like it.
However, I decided that I needed punishment for being a total slacker about tracking what I am eating are these. The other ones I have had been feeling too easy, however after hefting these, I probably should have gone a mid step. Oh well. They’re punishment, so my arms can suck it up, buttercup.
On the plus side, I managed to go the entire three days without my back exploding or otherwise expressing displeasure. I credit the yoga stretches I’ve been doing helping with that as well as the general core stuff I’ve been working on. There is that up side to this journey so far. I also dragged in a full sized futon mattress by myself tonight pretty easily. Go me.
I am about to go on vacation for the first time in ages, and I am terrified at what I am likely to do while I am gone. I realize that I’ll likely be doing some things for activity, but I’ll also be consuming things that are probably horrible. I will do what I can to limit the excess, but the excuses and that will need to go away when I return. I need to be back on track and keep track of what I am eating.
Maybe I need a total kick in the pants with a change in things I’m eating. Can’t hurt, right?