Sometimes This Just Sucks

This SucksI’m not going to lie or sugar coat the process of getting more fit or losing weight. Sometimes, it just sucks. You feel like things are going nowhere, you bust your ass trying to work out and be more fit, but you see no results. It’s infuriating. You’re doing so much and all you want is to see some kind of change, but there’s nothing to show for all of the time you’re spending busting your ass.

It’s enough to make a person want to ragequit. In fact more than a few times today I have actively debated doing as much. ¬†What’s the point if I’m not making any progress? I have done measurements that aren’t moving, and in some cases getting bigger. I am not eating bad things because they don’t help matters. I am drinking so much water and contemplating giving up soda, for what? Numbers that don’t move and me being miserable? If this was any kind of a game, I probably would’ve just tossed the controller to the floor and walked away for several hours to calm down. But I can’t walk away from myself, and that’s where the problem is.

People are telling me about their successes in weight loss, and I can certainly appreciate the struggle they went through to get there. I just seem completely unable to drop any measurements at all this go around, even with the variety of exercises I’ve been doing. I’ve been doing the 30 Day Squat Challenge and the 30 Day Plank Challenge at the same time. I’ve been doing some kettlebell workouts for my upper body, trying to build up some muscle mass. And all I seem to be getting in return is defeat.

Folks are telling me it should be muscle mass or tone, but it’s not helping the voice in my head yelling “Screw this!” I hate exercising. It’s tedious and awful. I know it gets results though. So where are they? It feels like after 3 weeks I should be seeing something, anything, but it feels like I’m getting no results.

I have friends telling me that my measurements can be skewed. If I’m not measuring the same way every time, I could be messing things up. Mentally, I can grok this. I really do get it. It’s still not helping my complete frustration at the moment however.

Should I give up? Man, I’m not going to lie to you, it’s tempting. It’s so much easier to just sit on my ass and keep doing what I’ve been doing. Will I give up? Probably not. It’s day 15 of the plank challenge and day 23 of the squat challenge. My brain is wired to finish things I start at least, but damn it’s frustrating.

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